Biding Time
by SniperCT
Summary: Emily and Lena have been dating for awhile now, and Emily is starting to get desperate for a kiss from her sort-of-girlfriend. But Lena has her reasons. Follow up to Pick-up Line and Timeskip.


Emily was desperate to kiss Lena. There was a lot she liked about Lena. Her heart was huge and she was really fun to hang around with. But she could be really flighty. Emily didn't know if that was normal for her or a product of the accident, but she took it in stride. One couldn't get along with someone 100% of the time anyway.

But they'd been on seven dates since Winston had created Lena's harness and every time Emily thought she was going to get a kiss Lena would say good night. And then there was the one time she'd actually recalled when she'd gotten flustered. Which was adorable but still frustrating.

Lena had invited her over because she wanted to show her something and today she was going to get a kiss from Lena if it killed her. The question remained if Lena would actually get her hints. She hadn't yet.

The first thing she noticed when Lena invited her in was the stylish jacket. That image was immediately ruined by the orange leggings. When Lena turned around the image was saved by the way her butt fit in those leggings and Emily dragged her hand down her face as she took a moment to process. "Lena, what are you wearing?"

"It's my new outfit! Whaddya think?" She spun around and struck a pose with her knee raised and Emily tilted her head, trying to make heads or tails of it.

"Did you design it yourself?" She had to, right? Emily knew Reyes liked to make Overwatch uniforms for people but this was something that he wouldn't put his name on in a million years.

"That's right! Gabe offered to do something for me but I just had an idea and I went for it?"

"Are those crocs?"

Lena dropped her foot to the ground and posed proudly. "Oi, that they are! Got a problem with them?" She eyed Emily, who was staring at her with her hand over her mouth. "You hate them."

"What? No, no." Emily smiled at her. "I love them!" They were dorky and just so Lena and maybe Emily had just realized that she didn't love just the crocs, but the person wearing them. It was a frightening realization. Setting aside kisses, Lena did dangerous things that Emily wasn't able to follow her into. She did what she could, and Winston had shown her how to maintain Lena's equipment, but she was still basically an army wife. At least she would be if Lena wanted her to be.

"Really? Jack laughed at me."

Emily came over, wrapping her arms around Lena. "Really, I love them. They're so you."

Lena flashed a cocky grin at her, then turned her head when Emily leaned in to kiss her. Emily sighed, resting her face in the crook of Lena's neck and Lena's fingers dug into the fabric of her shirt. Lena hugged her for a moment, then pulled away. "I'm sorry. I just…" She laughed, folding her arms over her chest and shrinking away from Emily.

Subconsciously mimicking Lena's pose, Emily shook her head. "No, I'm sorry. I'm getting the feeling I'm pressuring you into-"

"No no!" Lena waved her hands in front of her. "I wanna kiss you! S'just...I don't wanna hurt you. My job is real dangerous and hell I could disappear again an' that's not fair to you."

"Why don't you let me decide what's fair to me and what's not?" Emily came over to her, gripping Lena by the collar of her jacket and pulling her in. She rested their foreheads together. "Because you already once disappeared before we could suss out if there was anything between us."

"Well there's...definitely something…" Lena sputtered, then took a slow, steady breath. "I _really_ like you, Emily."

"Kiss me, before I start begging." Lena could die tomorrow. Get lost in the timestream again. Emily wanted to feel this, to share kisses and cuddling and emotions with Lena in whatever time they were allowed.

Lena looked at her, exploring her eyes with her own and coming to the exact same conclusion. "I'm sorry. Ahead of time. For all the times I'm gonna come home late, or hurt or what've you."

"I forgive you, ahead of time," Emily assured her, and then Lena was kissing her, warm and inviting and a little needy and for the first time Emily understood that she hadn't been the only one desperate for a kiss.

Whatever plans either of them had went out the window. They spent most of the afternoon inside, having tea and watching a game and not going more than a couple of minutes without a kiss. Lena seemed to be exhausted, though, and as evening fell she napped against Emily.

That was something else that worried her. Lena always put cover-up over the bags under her eyes but Emily saw through it every time. The woman just didn't sleep, or if she did it wasn't very good sleep. Very carefully, Emily extracted herself from Lena and then bundled her into her arms to carry her to the bedroom. Lena snuggled into her arm as she was carried and if the crocs hadn't made Emily fall in love with her that surely would have.

When she turned to go after laying Lena in bed, Lena's hand shot out and grabbed hers.

"Please stay." Lena was looking at her, bleary and rumpled.

There was no hesitation, no question. Emily slid into bed next to Lena and found herself immediately enveloped in Lena's arms and legs. Her presence was comforting and Emily suddenly wondered if she'd ever be able to sleep alone again.

She must have watched Lena sleep for an hour, but eventually she passed out as well. Jerky movement woke her. The clock showed it was just past twelve, and Lena was twitching in bed next to Emily. Lena whispered something in her sleep. " _No, no please. Oh god I just want to...hurts._ "

Emily put her hand on Lena's face. "Lena, wake up."

Lena didn't seem to notice. She kicked the covers off and nearly hit Emily with her elbow, muttering something about bombs, so many bombs. Emily pinned her arms down. "Lena!"

Shuddering awake, Lena's eyes were wild and tear-filled. She didn't recognize where she was or who she was with at first but when Emily came into focus she clung to her. The tears spilled over as a painful, heaving sob overcame her. Lena buried her face into Emily's chest in a vain effort to stop the crying before it started but she couldn't stop it.

Rubbing her hand in circles on Lena's back, all Emily could do was hold her. Though Lena never talked about it, she remembered the day Lena had returned. How painful it must have seemed. Emily started to rock her, and gradually the sobbing turned to weeping and the weeping to sniffling.

"M'sorry. Got your shirt all snotty."

Emily laughed, squeezing Lena tighter. "Don't be sorry." She brought her hand to Lena's face and wiped at her cheek. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Lena shook her head. "Not...not right now." But she would. Emily wasn't judging her for her nightmares or episodes, and that meant more to Lena than she had the words to say. If Em was willing to listen, then Lena would be willing to talk. Just not right now.

"Whenever you're ready then."

"Thanks, luv." Lena wiped her nose with the back of her hand, then leaned in to kiss Emily.

"Lena!" Emily laughed, pushing Lena's face to the side. "You're a mess!"

"What?!" Lena crawled on top of Emily, making kissing noises with her mouth and crossing her eyes. "Let me give you my snotty kisses, Em!"

"Oh yes that's _so_ attractive."

"You love it." Lena sat back, still on top of Emily.

"Yes." Emily gazed up at her. "Yes I do."


End file.
